Everything You Want by Barbara Shoup

Author:Barbara Shoup
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, LTD.
Published: 2008-04-01T04:00:00+00:00

Seventeen

Then there he is, leaning on my Jeep, when I come out of the lodge. Lani’s lying beside him, her head between her stretched-out paws, and she lumbers up and comes toward me, tail wagging. When I ruffle her neck she leans toward me for more, so I drop to my knees in the snow, put my arms around her and nuzzle against her big face.

“We’re going for a walk,” he says. “Night’s good. I don’t have to keep her on a leash.” He smiles. “She gets twice the walk I do that way. Anyway, I thought maybe you might want to walk with us.”

I glance back toward the lodge, and there’s Jimmy, the night guy, standing at the door.

“If you’re too tired, that’s okay,” Harp says. “We can do it another time.”

“No.” I stand up. “I’m fine. I’m not tired.”

We walk out to the end of the road, Lani disappearing into the woods—sometimes reappearing ahead of us, sometimes loping to catch up with us from behind. She stops and barks now and then. Once, she throws herself into an untouched patch of snow and rolls around on her back, her big front paws limp with pleasure. She looks so sweet I can’t resist falling backwards beside her, waving my arms and legs in an arc to make a snow angel. I lie there a long time, looking up at the full moon, feeling like—if I wanted to—I could float right up into the stars.

I don’t want to, though. I want to stay right here on earth, breathe in the cold, crisp air, hear the snow crunch beneath my feet as Harp and I walk back toward the lodge together. Halfway there, he stops, puts his hand on my arm to stop me, too. He points, and I see three deer, caught in moonlight, at the edge of the forest. They seem frozen there, not quite real. Then Lani makes a funny little sound in her throat, not quite a bark, and the deer bolt, leaping across the meadow on their impossibly thin legs, graceful as dancers.

I suddenly think of Jules in the middle of New York City, and, at least right now, I wouldn’t trade places with her. I’m happy to be who I am, where I am. I’m over being mad at Craig, who was just trying to be helpful. Grateful for the happiness bubbling up inside me again, allowing me to believe that last night with Harp was real. He is my friend, because here he is beside me. I don’t want or need him to be anything more than that.

And, over the next few weeks, being with him, things begin to seem possible. We spend every night after work hanging out at his house, playing pool, watching movies, talking about everything under the sun. At the restaurant, I hang out at the bar between customers, continuing whatever conversation we started hours before. I tell him funny stories about my awful semester at college. My

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